Cookie Monster

November 2002

While at the grocery store I came across the Christmas Cookies that you can buy in a tube and cut into individual slices.  The package says it makes 36 cookies....Don't believe it... I'm doing good to get 24 and that is before Bill finds out I have it.  

AnyWho....  I immediately think... "I can use this as a reward or bribery (which ever will work at the time) for Myranda and Tyler to begin their chores as soon as we get home without whining.  So I pick up a couple of tubes. 

On the way home I explain to Myranda and Tyler what they have to do in order for us to bake some cookies.  To my surprise they were very excited and in complete agreement.  Mentally I was thinking "this is too easy".  We got home and Myranda and Tyler immediately went to their rooms and began picking up toys, gathering dirty clothes, etc...  I was impressed.  I told Tyler, "You know what?, I think it is time for cookies".  We went to Myranda's room to inform her of the good news.  

Tyler immediately told me that Myranda already had cookies (or cookie dough).  I said, "excuse me".  Again he said, "Myranda already has cookies."  I looked at Myranda, (she had that "deer in the headlights" look) which immediately turned into a glaring stare with hands on hip (don't know where she got that from)  "Tyler" she yelled,  "You weren't suppose to tell, it was a secret".  

"Where are the cookies?", I asked.  Tyler proudly told me that the tube of raw cookie dough was under Myranda's bed.  Knowing that she was in a bit of trouble and didn't want to take all the blame she proceeded to tell me, "but MOM.... It was Tyler's Idea...

Spell Check?

November 2002


One of my responsibilities at my church is producing the monthly newsletter.  It had been a long time since we had one so I wanted my first newsletter to be perfect.  I got all my articles and even began a bit early not to be pressed for time.  Mr. Hall our Interim Pastor was about as excited as I was about the first newsletter.  We had great stories, articles and news.  I finished it up on a Thursday all 6 pages and left it at the presses.  I had proofed every article except for the last couple that were given to me at the deadline.

This is a good example of haste makes waste.  Sunday morning the newsletters were given out by our deacons as the church congregation left.  After I got home I received a phone call from a good friend and asked me if I had proofed a particular section (laughing the whole time, mind you). I hadn't so I went back and read the article.  Instead of it reading "remember our sick and shut-ins" it read "please remember our sick and sh*t-ins".   This is definitely one for the record book!!

Fire Me Please!

October 2002

Like most little boys, Tyler hates to clean his room. Begging and pleading use to work, bribery use to work too. Finally I sat down with him one day and explained to him that this was his responsibility, that it was his job. I went on to explain that if this were a real job and he didn’t accept responsibility and do what was expected of him that he could be fired. He said he understood and began cleaning his room. About 10 minutes later he came to me and asked “Mom, can you fire me?, I don’t want to clean my room anymore!”

Mysterious Illness

October 2002

You have to promise not to laugh…. One Saturday morning about 5:00am Bill poured himself a glass of milk before going hunting. While he was putting the milk back in the refrigerator the cat decided to sample the cold refreshing drink. Unfortunately Bill turned around just in time to see her dunk her head for a nice sip. The next think she knew she was doing a backflip to the floor. As Bill left to go to the woods he asked me to check on the cat following their early morning “discussion”.


The cat seemed fine that day, but Saturday night she had a slight change in her demeanor. She didn’t want any one to come around her or hold her. She had this low growl—meow mix. (extremely loud). She wouldn’t eat or drink. Bill was getting a bit anxious at this time thinking he had hurt the cat. We decided to wait until Sunday to see how she was doing that morning.. Meow Meow kept us awake all night with that low growl half meow of pain. It was the most horrible sound I had ever heard.

Sunday Morning came and the cat was still the same. We went to church and when I returned home I went straight away to check on the cat. At this time she couldn’t walk. If you touched her she would drop to the floor and if you rubbed her she would shake all over. Knowing how much this fur ball means to the kids I decided to call the vet.

At 2:00 Sarah (my brother’s girlfriend) and I were in the vet’s office. The vet was dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, shades, sandals the whole bit. (of course it was Sunday).. He took her out of the carrier, looked at her, checked her mouth, ears and back and then to my surprise he put her back in the carrier and proceeded to give me her diagnosis.

Our cat wanted a man!!.. Yes she was in heat!! However, to make me feel better the Vet said it was the worse case he had ever seen.

Another Mouth to Feed

October 2002

We have a new pet cat. Her name is Meow Meow. The kids absolutely love her and I find myself sounding like a broken record saying “Leave the cat alone”. Her feet never touch the floor from the time we get home to the time we go to bed. Myranda treated her like a baby, by wrapping her up in blankets, hand feeding her, brushing her fur and has even tried brushing her teeth with Bill’s toothbrush. She put detangler spray on her fur one day to get the tangles out. Needless to day Meow Meow was not a happy camper. Myranda puts hair bows on her tail to make her look “precious” and Tyler just chases her around the house. I know it sounds like the cat has a hard life, but at bedtime Meow Meow has her payback. She aggravates the kids, by jumping on the bed, chewing hair and purring in their ear until they finally get up and put her in mine and Bill’s room and shut the door.